THE VOW

First, I need to preface this article by saying that I have not seen the movie nor read the book entitled, "The Vow." I most likely will not go see the movie due to the fact that it has some nudity in it according to kids-in-mind.com. I am not one that will attend or support movies no matter how good people "say" that it might be. Anyway, that is not the point of this writing.

I want to focus on the theme of the movie, the vow made between a husband and his wife. As society is quick to remind us, by the way they live, this vow that is made on ones wedding day is meaningless. So many today go into a marriage with an "If I don't like this arrangement, then I can get out" attitude. One or both of those getting a divorce have forgotten the solemn vow made not just to each other but also unto God. Jesus said, "they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6 emp. jer). Our society must take this vow more seriously or the family as we know it will be destroyed. It might be too late already.

The vow goes somewhat as follows, "Wilt thou have this Man/Woman to be thy wedded husband/wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him/her, comfort him/her, honor, and keep him/her in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her/him, so long as ye both shall live?" Added to this is also, "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, according to God's holy ordinance." This is not just any vow. This is a vow of dedication to one another no matter what the future holds. No matter what the spouse looks like in 10, 20 or 30 years. If the spouse loses his/her memory or the ability to walk, see, hear or anything else you are still faithful.

This is a vow that I do not take lightly. I made this vow to my wife over 16 years ago and plan on keeping it. The idea of divorce is never an option in our house. This is because each of us have not only made the vow but have understood it as well. I know what it means to go through difficult times. And I know what it means to go through positive times. God continues to bless us because we seek Him first. When we have gone through a trying time in our marriage, we turned to God for the guidance. Then the problem was worked out completely. Now I do not want anyone to get the wrong idea. My wife and I have never been even close to a divorce or even a separation. But every family has difficulties, whether it be money, health, jobs, children or etc. Again, do not try to read anything into this article. I just want to share with you the fact that every problem a couple has can be worked out if God is involved and each couple is committed to the vow.

Why do so many today not take this vow as seriously as they should? I believe for many reasons. One is because of selfish ambition. Paul told the church in a letter to the Philippians, "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better them himself" (2:3). If more families used this model then more families would stay together. You must have a 100/100 marriage, and not a 50/50 marriage. Every husband and every wife must give of themselves completely in order to make their marriage successful.

Finally, I want to share with you a societal influence that is gaining ground. This influence is two-fold. First, our teens and young adults go into every "relationship" with a dating philosophy. This makes every relationship that they enter into a temporary one. As this continues throughout their lives, it becomes embedded in their minds and many times will carry over into the marriage. I continue to teach teens that you must have a "relationship building" mentality. Every time you find someone that you are "infatuated" with start by building a relationship with them. Become friends and as your relationship grows make sure that God is the foundation. You cannot go wrong then once the relationship enters into the marriage bond.

The other societal influence is the "let's just live together" philosophy. This is looked at as a trial period, just to make sure that you can live with the other. Again, another method used by satan and the world to say that marriage is either not important or temporary. God condemns this type of situation. Paul writes, "Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness" (Galatians 5:19). Fornication is a sin! No matter how you try to define it.

My prayer is that couples will look at the marriage vow as God intended, "one man and one woman for life." God bless your marriage and continue to be a minister with a message.